Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
