I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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