Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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