Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
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you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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