I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize