Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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