If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
