No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
