He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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