better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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