yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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