no, he came in my armpit
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
