Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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