Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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