and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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