the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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