I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
