Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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