can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my liver is dry heaving
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize