I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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