i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
