Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
