did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
