He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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