Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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