If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
