dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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