honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
