hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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