I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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