Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
