I'm so fucking centered right now
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
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You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
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I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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