shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
