I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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