His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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