1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
