When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize