I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
