no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
