It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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