Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
