I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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