Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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