i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
