I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize