I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
