i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
