Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
