One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
