I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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