We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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