you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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