you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
