I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
