I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
