So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
