i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
