i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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