Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
