I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
