In the future we'll all be gay
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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