he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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