i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
